Meet the characters: Grunt and Jeremy

Grunt: Grunt (headhunter, and not the employee recruiting kind), and Jeremy (shrunken head) here. We know what you're thinking. Where are you guys from and how is it you're best friends? Well, here's our story. I'm originally from Iowa and Jeremy is from Minnesota. Midwestern guys, that's what we are.

Jeremy: We met as freshmen in college when we were assigned as roommates. Grunt was attending on a physics scholarship, while I was trying to make the football team as a walk-on. During spring break of our sophomore year, while everyone else was headed to Florida (yawn), we decided to reenact Gilligan's Island. We set sail during a storm and washed up on shore. Turned out to be in Fort Lauderdale, so we spent spring break in Florida after all.

Grunt: Anyway, I lost my books during the storm so went to a used book store to find something to read. Feeling adventurous, I closed my eyes, stuck my hand in the bargain bin, and pulled out a book about the secret to shrinking heads. That night, while Jeremy was passed out in a drunken stupor, I tried it out. It worked! That was so cool! Except now Jeremy was just a shrunken head. Not wanting to leave my best friend alone in such a state, I attached a bone to my upper lip, dressed in a loin cloth, and suspended Jeremy over a pot of boiling water.

Jeremy: I wasn't too happy when I woke up. I knew I'd never make the football team now. How can I punt when I'm just a head? But when I saw what Grunt had done in solidarity, all was forgiven.

Grunt: I felt bad that Jeremy hasn't been able to live out his dream as a division III punter, but I think it's all worked out. Kind of hard to shave around this bone, though.